The Pendulum

This time I had made up my mind. I won’t talk to you anymore. Even if you text me I won’t reply. You have done this so many times, hurting me and then texting me after few days as if nothing had happened. And I’m fool to forget every past incidents and accept you again. This time it won’t happen. You have taken me for granted. As if whatever you wish you can do to me and I’ll always be there for you. I mean there is a limit of everything. Whenever you wished you pulled me towards you; whenever you wished you left me. What about my feelings? When you felt like talking to me I should talk to you, whenever you didn’t you didn’t reply. What about when I feel like talking to someone? When I feel depressed and would want to talk to you, cry with you, share my feelings, you were not there. I also feel sad. I also get hurt. I also have a heart god damn it!

This world is a constant battle. “Life is not a bed of roses”. I fight everyday. I lose. I get hurt. At that time I want to talk to the person I love the most. It comforts me. You know something? When I talk to you, for some moments, I forget everything- all my troubles, all my worries, all my failures. Yeah you may call me selfish but I think that’s what every person wants- seeking comfort from each-other.

In the past many times it has happened that you’ll leave my messages un-replied. Why do you do so? I can see your “last seen”. You saw my text yet ignored it. How do I believe that you do care for me! Earlier it was not like that. Then why now? Have I lost my charm? Do you still care for me ? Do you still love me? I have asked this many times. And you’d reply “ Of course I do”. Then why this? And if you don’t love me anymore then why do you come back. Just leave me. I can bear you leaving me once. I can’t bear you leaving me again and again. And when I’d start getting used to your absence suddenly you’ll come back. I don’t know what’s wrong with you? What’s wrong between us?

Suddenly my phone buzzed and your message popped up.

“Hi”

“Hi! Why did you take so many days to text me this time? I missed you so much”, I replied back.

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