Dear love,

I was a perfectly normal kid. Staring at every hot girl-senior or junior, messing with friends, fighting in the cricket ground over a run out. Everything was fine. And then you came. It was after the half-yearly exams of class 9. You looked cute. Not like the ‘hot girls’ that boys crave for but somewhat sweet and beautiful. And trust me I had no feelings for you initially. We were not familiar with each other. I didn’t know you nicely. You had just shifted from Mumbai to Guwahati. Yeah it takes a little bit of time to get adjusted in a new school. Initially you didn’t talk much with others. I thought you had an ego. I had a bad impression about you. Thought you were some metro girl with a big fat attitude .

And then one day I was coming from the library and you were going to the library, running. Suddenly you slipped and fell down few steps in front of me. I picked you up. You said “Thank you” and smiled. I still remember that cute smile of yours . Everything happened just like in a Bollywod movie. From that day we started talking. Hell yeah !

And then you praised me in front of all our classmates- my friends and all. You went on and on. You shifted your seat too and started seating behind  us. We would talk anytime. Because you hadn’t made many friends then. We (me and my bench-mate) were the only friends to say. Then you joined tuition with us. After tuition we would sometimes take a walk. I liked talking to you. One day I went to your home and you introduced me to your mom. Your mom liked me. Such a lovely lady! When your mom could not come to pick you from the tuition she would ask me to drop you home. You don’t have any idea how much I liked that!

We then moved to class 10. And I started liking you . I told that to my bench-mate. That blabbermouth!  It was the greatest mistake I committed. You know something if you love someone, never tell your friends. They’ll screw you. That’s what happened. Always, he would now tease me in the class whenever I tried talking to you. You asked me if I had any gf. I said “No”. But you would always keep on asking the same thing. Meanwhile my friend would always tease me and one day in front of us he told you. After that whenever I talked to you I felt shy. That’s why I talked lesser and lesser with you. You might have thought I am ignoring you . And I didn’t have the guts to express my feelings.

And then, from don’t know where, you came to know about my previous two ‘crushes’. Trust me it was just puppy love. It was nothing serious. They were into me, and I too liked them but not in that sense. And nothing really happened.

I remember that day I went to your house. You asked me if I really loved you. I said it’s true I have some feelings for you . You said you’re afraid. What if your mom comes to know? What if I leave you “like I left my previous crushes”? You said that you’re going back to Mumbai after the 10th board exams. So it would be hard for you to forget me if you come into relationship with me. So I suggested that if we stop talking to each other then maybe this feeling between us will go.I was such a stupid! After much persuasion you accepted. I know you too loved me a lot. And then my friends came to know about this. And then,my bench-mate started flirting with you. That bastard! He already had a gf was trying after you. I stopped talking to you and he took the chance. I started hating him. I changed my seat and started seating with others.

Though you and me stopped talking we were in the same friends-circle. Many a times our eyes would meet. I would have this strong urge to talk to you but I resisted. And then you came to know about another girl who ‘loved’ me. What was my fault in that?

And then in the last Rakshabandhan you tried to tie Rakhi to that asshole. You don’t know how much happy I was seeing this . But then I heard things from people about something you said regarding me that really hurt me . Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding. Our boards got over last Saturday. And I have got enough of time now. Enough of time to think about you. Today the whole day I thought about sending you a “Hi” in whatsapp. I looked you in whatsapp. Last seen 5:42 pm. It’s 9:22 pm now and I still haven’t got the guts to text you. I have heard from my friends that you tried talking to me many times but I didn’t notice. You’re still single. I don’t know what to do now? What is good for me? What is good for us? In a few days you’ll be gone. And I won’t see you anymore. That thought hurts. Maybe it’s the right thing for both of us not to talk. Or maybe in a day or two if I can gather guts I’ll text you .

Yours truly

Loverboy.

(Read Dear Love-II at the following link- https://liljedi.wordpress.com/2014/12/02/dear-love-ii/)

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